


Of Love, Loss and Loneliness

by Ghoul_Chick



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: AU, Angst, Death, Loneliness, M/M, OOC, miragen/kuroko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9283058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghoul_Chick/pseuds/Ghoul_Chick
Summary: AU in which every time someone falls in love a red mark appears on their wrist. The tally mark becomes black if their love is requited and becomes a scar if the one they love is gone. Imagine someone with no tally marks meeting someone with all tally marks scarred.Or in which Kuroko had been burned too many times and Akashi is only just learning to love.____________________________"He was staring up at the moon and the expression on his face was of pure vulnerability. It disgusted me. It should have disgusted me. Vulnerabilities were for the strong to prey upon and yet it was as though they made him stronger, but at the same time infinitely more fragile. He was beneath me and yet I still found myself looking up at him as though he was something unattainable. Otherworldly. Not for the common man. But I was not common and in that moment my desire to acquire him left me shaken."





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not too sure how quickly this fic will be updated so please be patient.

The first time I saw him and I mean really saw him was on a Thursday. Just your average day, nothing particularly special happening or planned to happen. I remember it clearly. It was hot. Very hot in fact. Scorching. The skies were a cerulean blue and the clouds such a pure white that they almost appeared to glow. 

I was lying in the park under the shade of a tree after a long game with whoever would play. I never really took stock of names. They never seemed to hold much importance. Just the rush of adrenaline and the intensity of the fight. Nothing else.  
There could never be anything else besides the swish of the net and the pounding on the concrete that seemed to echo in my head. Everything other than this seemed to fade to black. The people around me, and time no longer relevant. Just me and the game that I loved. Unless I was up against a powerful opponent. And then everything appeared to become crystal clear and time seemed to stop moving. To envelop us in a sphere in which nothing could pierce, a blissful oblivion in which abstract concepts such as fatigue and time no longer seemed to exist. But in the end the fact remained that I was absolute, and victory was inevitable.

I was shielding my eyes against the blinding glow of the sun and that was when I saw him. He had stopped in the road and appeared to be doing absolutely nothing. Unmoving amongst the flood of rush hour people, apparently too busy to notice him. Not me however. I was transfixed. How could I miss him? How could anyone miss him? Hair that looked as soft as silk, azure in colour and eyes just as breathtaking, if not more. Creamy pale skin and lean figure. Delicate and yet strong. What was the most captivating however was not his obvious beauty but the expression on his face. Or lack thereof. His face was like a newly purchased canvas. Blank but holding a thousand possibilities. For a split second this mask slipped and I caught the slightest hint of expression that had me holding my breath before it was gone again, almost as though it had never been there in the first place.But I knew what I saw. It was pain of the highest degree, unparalleled and soul destroying.

I blinked and the next moment the expression was gone, and so was he. 

__________________

The next time I saw the azure angel, as I had taken to calling him—and when had I started thinking about him to the extent that I had even given him a name—was about a week later in the dead of night. I couldn't sleep (which was becoming a regular occurrence), and had decided to go out on a run in order to clear my mind, and there he was. 

At first I hadn't seen him and may have not done so if it hadn't been for the black and white puppy standing close by his side as though for the purpose of protection, but the effect wasn't as frightening as it could have been given its less than impressive size. They made for a chilling sight. Dog and master, both appearing frozen in some scene to which I felt like an intruder, witnessing something private and not for the eyes of many. 

He was staring up at the moon and the expression on his face was of pure vulnerability. It disgusted me. It should have disgusted me. Vulnerabilities were for the strong to prey upon and yet it was as though they made him stronger, but at the same time infinitely more fragile. He was beneath me and yet I still found myself looking up at him as though he was something unattainable. Otherworldly. Not for the common man. But I was not common and in that moment my desire to acquire him left me shaken. 

I left before I could do anything I would later come to regret, but not without catching one final glimpse of him. A single tear had run down his cheek and I knew for a fact that he hadn't noticed. 

What was causing this mysterious stranger such pain? And why did I find myself wanting to ease that pain, even if just by a little? 

___________________

Almost as though by the will of fate—although fate was for the docile—I started seeing him everywhere. Just a flash of blue here and the creamy glow of pale skin under the sun there, and he was gone. Like a ghost haunting me. Making me take notice but never showing its presence. I found that he had begun to dominate my thought processes as well for I’d find myself trying to unravel his mystery. Or just wondering where he would be at random times of the day. This behaviour was so grossly out of the ordinary and all consuming that it was hard for me to suppress it. I was an emperor. People obsessed over me and not the other way around. That is the way it had always been and that was the way I preferred it to stay. 

The third time we encountered each other, was the first time I learnt something about this stranger. His name was Kuroko Tetsuya. Black child or a person in the background. It suits him for it was difficult for even I to notice his presence. 

How could someone so radiant be so forgettable? Slip so easily into the shadows that they went overlooked. Unnoticed. It must have been a painfully lonely existence. It was then that I realised that despite our differences, we both shared a similarity that was infinitely more importantly. Where I shone in the light and never failed to be noticed, he hid in the shadows and was never acknowledged. Despite I walking in the light and he in the shadows we both shared an agonising loneliness. No one truly saw me for me. I was always just the cold emperor, someone to be obeyed and feared. Never to be gotten too close to. Surrounded by thousands of people and yet walking the path of life alone. He however had no such pretences for it was hard for people to flock to something they could neither perceive nor see. 

I wonder which was worse. 

He happened to be in the same coffee shop as I was when I learnt this piece of information. It said it on his cup of vanilla latte in beautiful cursive writing. I watched as he walked right past me and sat by a beautiful woman, with pink hair and eyes of the same startling shade. They seemed familiar with each other, heads huddled low and speaking in hushed tones. Was this his partner I found myself wondering. I hated the way this particular thought filled me with dread. 

They sat there like that for about an hour, enveloped by some form of melancholy I could not quite understand and then she stood, placed a hand on his shoulder and gently placed a kiss on his cheek before she left. I felt anger bubbling somewhere inside me and a possessiveness that I could not explain engulf me. What was it about this person that had me feeling more emotions in the span of a few seconds thank I had in weeks? I clenched my hands, this was not the place to lose my composure. I watched as she reached the door, took one last lingering glance at him and then was gone with the wind. He did not turn back around but seemed to crawl back behind the blank mask I was accustomed to seeing on him and stare out of the window for what seemed like forever until he too was gone and I was left contemplating why I felt more of a connection to this stranger than I had with anyone else in my life.

__________________

The day we officially met is the day my curiosity is not sated as I would have hoped, but intensified. 

I had been visiting that same coffee shop on and off for the last couple of weeks in hopes of catching a glimpse of him again, but to no avail. Not even a whisper of his presence.

That was until the day that it happened. 

I was sitting in a booth by the window nursing a piping hot cup of black coffee and staring out of the window at all the people who went by. Some rushed, seeming busy and stressed, briefcase in hand, whilst others sauntered on by looking as though they hadn't a care in the world. The barista who had taken my order seemed to know what I wanted even before I had placed my order, testament to how frequently I found myself here waiting to catch a glimpse of m— the elusive beauty. The only deviation from my now practised routine was the fact that I noticed the previously red line on the inside of the barista’s wrist that usually served me had turned black. Lucky. 

Things were going as they typically did. Until they didn't. 

The captivating stranger that had held my interest for the past couple of weeks walked straight into the shop as unassuming as I had remembered and ordered what I presume was the same beverage as he had purchased before. A vanilla latte. An unexpected choice of drink for a man like him. Incongruous with his appearance for it would be easy to make the assumption that someone as seemingly bland as he would have similar tastes. I knew better than to make baseless assumptions. 

He walked in a daze for a moment with his freshly purchased drink, seemingly unaware of where he was going until both he and I noticed that the only available space in the otherwise packed café was opposite me. I found myself almost holding my breath to see what he would do, but caught myself in time. Such behaviour was unacceptable.

In the few seconds it took for him to make his decision an eternity seemed to pass in my mind and the world around me froze, until he began walking in my direction and everything was kick started back into motion. The world for some reason appeared brighter whilst the sounds in the background all but faded to nothing. The only thing that was left was the faint sound of his footsteps approaching and the rapid beating of my heart. 

“Excuse me but it appears as though this is the only seat available, if no one is using it then would it be okay if I joined you?”

The words were soft spoken and dull, uttered with almost practiced politeness but even so, the mere sound of his voice made my heart skip a beat. He sounded like a cool summer's breeze. Almost unnoticeable and yet utterly refreshing. He stood staring at me for a moment and it was then that I realised that I had not answered his question. Fast as ever I regained my bearings and schooled my expression into one I knew was befitting an emperor. 

“Feel free to sit, I won't try and stop you” and so he did but not before giving me a contemplating look, like he was trying to figure out how I had been able to notice him when no one else could. I was not about to tell him it was because he was the only thing I'd been able to see since I first caught a glimpse of him. 

“Thank you”

We lapsed into silence but every now and then I caught myself stealing glances at him, wanting to hear more of his voice.

“Akashi”

“Pardon?”

“My name. It is Akashi Seijuro” I wasn't too sure what had compelled me to speak and the blank stare he was giving me was almost enough to make me regret my decision.

“Kuroko Tetsuya. A pleasure to meet you Akashi-kun.”

Silence descended yet again but this time it seemed not as uncomfortable. He reached across for his drink and it was then that I understood why he always seemed to be drowning in sorrow. 

For there were 5 neat scars marking the inside of his wrist.


End file.
